So……. the movie review. I heard some time ago that a young actress, all grown up, was going to be starring in a thriller, horror, futuristic film. I was excited.
She, the beloved Sarah Stanley (Sarah Polley in real life) could do no wrong in my eyes. If you read yesterday’s post, you’d know by now that Sarah was a character in Road to Avonlea. She wasn’t a brilliant Oscar winning actress; she was young and maturing, growing and learning. But darn, she was an actress and character on one of my fav-ou-rite shows of all times and that made her worthy (in my eyes).
Obviously I’m a little biased. The world turns and actors are not their characters, nor are characters reality, especially young Victorian women in 2010 Arizona.
I saw the previews for Splice and there she was. I was convinced that this young woman, all grown now, who made Avonlea such a treat, could only pick A-1, edgy, fine movies to star in. I waited, excited, with my two littles to see this movie…. and mostly it was because THE Sarah Polley was in it.
Here’s where we take a turn. The movie was awful. I didn’t walk out on it, ask for my money back like I did District 9. But I found it disturbing, poor, laughable. That hurt my heart. I wanted to love it, and I didn’t.
And then, I thought about it for a couple of days. I’m going out on a limb here, and my littles are gasping as they read this. I’m so far out on the limb, it’s bending under the weight and practically touching the ground…… I think the acting was poor (oh my gosh, it hurts to say this…. Sarah Polley, you stunk!), the story weak and I didn’t “like” any of the characters.
Here goes………. even though it stunk, I liked the movie. Did you hear that? There was a siren, yes…. I hear it… it’s the paddy wagon for the funny farm… coming my way.
The movie was awful, it’s true.
In a nutshell, it was a poor remake of The Fly. Two mad scientists splicing DNA looking for answers (in this case, cures) successfully splice all sorts of animal DNA with some human. Born a slug, the child grows rapidly, gradually becoming more humanistic with some very weird mannerisms and body parts. I’m not even going to share the rest of the story with you because it sucks. It really does.
But the spliced “Dren” was fascinating to watch. In my opinion, the character was well done and realistically portrayed; as realistic as you can imagine a beautiful young woman, perfect in every way, ummmmm except for the tail, the donkey calves and feet extended below supple young thighs, and her bald head. There were other minor things, but she really was beautiful and exotic looking. Her movements were spot on, quick and precise, she hung by her feet from the rafters, sprouted wings and in the end, morphed into a gila monster with gills. All the while cooing and chirping, purring and chirruping (yeah that’s a word and it’s different from chirping).
While Sarah’s acting was poor, oh my gosh, was it ever poor, there was some realism in there. There was, ummm, that one time…..or no, when…….. she ……. no… she wasn’t real at all.
But, I liked the film. I won’t spend more money on it… I probably won’t watch it again, but I’m not sorry that I went to see it.
I am sorry, though, that my Sarah Polley bubble is burst.
I’m frantically googling Road to Avonlea……. God Bless Youtube!!!!